1. Judge
Your Neighbor Worksheet
—OR—
2. One Belief at a Time Worksheet
(Also known as the Written Self Facilitation Worksheet.)
To see how our tendency to judge can serve us, read through the example of how
to write a Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet: 
Next
investigate each statement you've written on the Worksheet with the following
Four Questions and the Turnaround:
1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?
You may feel as you ask yourself these questions (especially the first one) that
you already know the answer. The key to experiencing The Work is to go beyond
the quick answers of the intellect and tap into a deeper wisdom. Ask, then be
still and wait for an inner voice to respond. With practice, this will become
easier. You will learn to rely on yourself—not the world—to see what's
true for you.
Example: Joe should understand me.
When applying the four questions to number 1 from the Worksheet, you may want
to simplify the original statement. For example, "I am angry at Joe
because he doesn't understand me" could be simplified to "Joe
should understand me" or even "I am angry" before
you inquire.
Question 1: Is it true?
Is it true that Joe should understand you? Be still. Wait for the answer. If
you feel it is true, ask Question 2. If you see it isn’t true, move to
Question 3.
Question 2: Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
Ultimately, can you absolutely know what’s best for Joe to understand?
Do you decide the range of each person’s understanding on earth? And what’s
the reality of the situation? Does he understand you? The answer to that question
is what’s true, because it’s real. The whole world may say, “He
should understand you; husbands should understand their wives.” Now
ask yourself: Is it true? Look at your own experience to see what’s true.
Question 3: How do you react when you think that thought?
What happens when you think "Joe should understand me" and
he doesn’t? Feel it. Make a list. How do you treat Joe? How do you treat
yourself? What goes on in your head and body? Does thinking this thought bring
stress or peace into your life? Notice. If it seems to bring stress, is there
anything peaceful about it?
Question 4: Who would you be without the thought?
The goal is not to try to change your reactions or make yourself see things differently.
This is simply investigation, a chance for you to go in and observe first-hand
your thoughts and their effects. When you see this clearly, your life changes
automatically as a result.
Close your eyes. Picture yourself in the presence of the one you want to change.
Imagine looking at that person just for a moment without your thought. What do
you see? Now imagine him experiencing how you treat him as you act out the story
that he is supposed to understand you. What would your life look like without
that thought? How would things be different?
Now turn the thought around.
Statements can be turned around to yourself, to the other, to the opposite, and
to "my thinking," wherever it applies. Find a minimum of three genuine
examples in your life where each turnaround is as true as or truer than your
original statement.
After you've investigated your statement with the four questions, you're ready
to turn it around. Turnarounds are opportunities to experience the opposite of
your original statement and see what you and the one you judge have in common.
For example, "I'm angry at Joe because he doesn't understand me" turned
around to "I'm angry at myself because I don't understand me." Is
that as true or truer? Could it be that I don't understand myself—perhaps
the way I repeatedly get so angry at Joe? If I don't understand myself, can I
see how Joe wouldn't either? Another turnaround could be "I'm angry
at myself because I don't understand Joe." Can you find that?
Be creative with the turnarounds. They are revelations, showing you the unseen
pieces of yourself reflected back through others. Go inside after each turnaround.
Let yourself feel it. Ask yourself if any of your turned-around versions seem
as true as or truer than your original thought, and if they do, find three genuine
ways in which each of them is true.
As I began living the turnarounds, I noticed that I was everything I called you.
You were merely my projection. Now, instead of trying to change the world around
me (this didn't work, but only for my whole life befoere now), I can put the
thoughts on paper, investigate them, turn them around, and find that I am the
very thing I thought you were. In the moment I see you as selfish, I am selfish
(deciding how you should be). In the moment I see you as unkind, I am unkind.
If I believe you should stop waging war, am I waging war on you in my mind? If
so, I am teaching war.
The turnarounds are your prescription for happiness. Live the medicine you have
been prescribing for others. The world is waiting for just one person to live
it. You are the one.
(Statements can be turned around to yourself, to the other, to the opposite,
and to "my thinking," wherever it applies. Find a minimum of three
genuine examples in your life where each turnaround is as true as or truer than
your original statement.)
More examples of turnarounds:
"He should understand me"
turns around to:
He shouldn't understand me. (This is reality.)
• I should understand him.
• I should understand myself.
"I need him to be kind to me."
turns around to:
• I don't need him to be kind to me.
• I need me to be kind to him. (Can I live it?)
• I need me to be kind to myself.
"He is unloving to me."
turns around to:
• He is loving to me. (To the best of his ability)
• I am unloving to him. (Can I find it?)
• I am unloving to me (When I don't inquire.)
“Joe shouldn't shout at me."
turns around to:
• Joe should shout at me. (Obviously: In reality, he does sometimes.
Am I listening?)
• I shouldn't shout at Joe.
• I shouldn't shout at me.
(In my head, am I playing over and over again Joe's shouting? Who's more merciful,
Joe who shouted once, or me who replayed it a 100 times?
Turning Around Number 6 is a little different...
After you have turned around the judgments in your answers to numbers 1 through
5 on the Worksheet (asking if they are as true or truer), turn number 6 around
using "I am willing ..." and "I look forward to ..."
For example, "I don't ever want to experience an argument with Joe" turns
around to "I am willing to experience an argument with Joe" and "I
look forward to experiencing an argument with Joe." Why would you look forward
to it? Number 6 is about fully embracing all of mind and life without fear, and
being open to reality. If you experience an argument with Joe again, good. If
it hurts, you can put your thoughts on paper and investigate them. Uncomfortable
feelings are merely the reminders that we've attached to something that may not
be true for us. They let us know that it's time to do The Work.
Until you can see the enemy as a friend, your Work is not done. This doesn't
mean you must invite him to dinner. Friendship is an internal experience. You
may never see him again, you may even divorce him, but as you think about him
are you feeling stress or peace?
In my experience, it takes only one person to have a successful relationship.
I like to say I have the perfect marriage, and I can't really know what kind
of marriage my husband has (though he tells me he's happy too).
www.thework.com To
see video of The Work in Action click here
Playing
off the popular bumper sticker “Think Globally. Act Locally,” we’ve
come to find that the only war that really exists is in our heads, so we
altered the statement to say “Think Globally. Act Internally.” When
I clean up my stressful thinking about the world around me, that’s
when I most positively impact the world.
Loving What Is refers to a method of questioning your thoughts in order to deeply
reduce the stress /pain/aggravation in your life, both at the office and at home.
It is also referred to as “The Work”. 
Go to Amazon.com to purchase books and Audio
CDs on The Work. We much prefer
Loving What Is, Katie's first book in the Audiobook
format. Click on each book to go to Amazon.com
As an intro to this process of questioning the mind to reduce
stress, we are most drawn to this audio CD series: Your
Inner Awakening; Four Questions That Will Transform Your Life
For thousands of years
we’ve been told
not to judge, but we still do it all the time—how our boss should be
treating us, what the government should be doing, how our friends should
act, whom our children should care about, what our parents should feel, do
or say. In The Work, rather than suppress these judgments, we use them as
starting points for self-realization. By letting the judging mind have its
life on paper, we can discover through the mirror of those around us what
we haven't yet realized about ourselves. You
Can Experience The Work
Using Two Different Worksheets
They work by getting your stressful thoughts on paper:
Facilitation Guide
for The Work
This is a more in-depth look at how you can best use the
Four Questions.
Use the following Four Questions and sub-questions to investigate a stressful
belief-for example, "My mother doesn't love me." (Some of the sub-questions
may not apply.)
1. Is it true?
• (Close your eyes,be still, go deeply as you contemplate your answer. If
your answer is no, continue to Question 3.)
2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?
• Can you really know what's best in the long run for his/her/your own path?
• Can you absolutely know that you would be happier if you got what you
wanted?
3. How do you react when you think that thought? (When you believe
that thought?)
• Where does the feeling hit you, where do you feel it in your body when
you believe that thought? How far does the feeling travel? Describe it.
• What pictures do you see when you believe that thought? Watch it, be still,
notice.
• When did that thought first occur to you?
• How do you treat others when you believe that thought? What do you say
to them? What do you do? Whom does your mind attack and how? Be specific.
• How do you treat yourself when you believe that thought? Is this where
addictions kick in and you reach for food, alcohol, credit cards, the TV remote?
Do thoughts of self-hatred occur? What are they?
• How have you lived your life because you believed that thought? Be specific.
Close your eyes, watch your past.
• Does this thought bring peace or stress into your life?
• Where does your mind travel when you believe that thought? List any underlying
beliefs, and inquire later.)
• Whose business are you in when you think that thought?
• What do you get for holding onto that belief?
• Can you find a peaceful reason to keep that thought?
• What terrible thing do you assume would happen if you didn't believe that
thought? Write down the terrible thought, and turn it around to the opposite
and test it for yourself - is the opposite as true or truer?
4. Who would you be without the thought?
• How would you live life differently if you didn't believe that thought?
Close your eyes and imagine life without it.
• Imagine you are meeting this person for the very first time with no story.
What do you see?
• Who are you right now, sitting here without that thought?
Turn the thought around.
(Statements can be turned around to yourself, to the other, to the opposite,
and to "my thinking," wherever it applies. Find a minimum of three
genuine examples in your life where each turnaround is as true as or truer than
your original statement.)
• If you lived this turnaround, what would you do, or how would you live
your life, differently?
• Do you see any other turnarounds that seem as true or truer?home | open
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